Once upon a time, I was your son-seng nim. :)

Six years. It had been six long years.


When I was at the age when people started asking what I would like to be when I grew up, my response was a simple, “I want to be a teacher”.  I wanted to be a teacher for no specific reason. I couldn’t even remember if I had a reason at all.  Since I was an only child, I remembered playing with my dolls – I was the teacher and my dolls were my students. I had a blackboard, a box of chalks, a blackboard eraser…and oh, I even had a teacher’s record book! 


As I grew older, my plans and dreams changed. I took up Tourism because I wanted to be a flight stewardess. Unfortunately, it wasn’t easy landing on such a job. Right after graduation in 2005, I was so eager to find a job so I sent resumes to a lot of companies right away. No calls. Until I felt desperate so I went to this employment agency in Kamias, Quezon City. The position I was applying for was an encoder at a bank. During the interview, the interviewer said I could speak English quite well so she’d like to endorse me to a Korean company which was located in that same building. So I went there, had my interview…


And just like what they always say, the rest was history. 


I’d say the job I had for six years realized my childhood dream – teaching. But who would have thought I’d love that? And loved teaching English to Koreans, for that matter? In my six years of working in this industry, I’d met different types of people – people from various walks of life, ages, personality, economic status, etc. Some of them became my very good friends, some just came and went. Some made my everyday life miserable and made me hate my job, but surprisingly, most of these students were the ones I had a hard time saying goodbye to. In short, the people I talked to, laughed with, corrected and taught, and sometimes shouted at, left a special place in my heart – something that would always remind me that once upon a time, I was called a teacher.


I must admit, it has just been almost 2 months since I last talked to my Korean students. And I miss the job. I miss doing the things that I had been doing for the last six years. I miss the fun when my students and I played tic-tac-toe. I miss asking how their days were. I miss asking what they had for dinner, what they’d do on the weekends, what movie they’d watch and what a certain idiom meant. These were just the almost everyday questions I asked them. Almost every day that I felt sick of asking these questions. But how I miss them now! 


I think there is a fine line between letting go of the things that a person is used to doing/having and letting go of the things that a person is used to doing/having BY HEART. The latter is way harder.


I may not had been a teacher by profession. 
I may not have had the proper training.
I may not have had the license to do it. 
But I knew I had the most important thing…
I had the heart.

Bjorn's Little Prayer

For the past few weekend nights (as these were the only times we got to go to bed together), I had been teaching Bjorn how to say personal prayers. Last night, as we closed our eyes and prayed, this was what he said...

"Dear Jesus, thank you po sa mga binigay Ninyo sa amin ngayong araw. Thank you po sa food, sa water, sa toys, candy...etc. etc."

What struck me the most (and made me open my eyes to look at him) was when he said:

"Thank you po kase nandito si mommy ngayon pagsleep namin."

In silence, I thanked God more for that night too. ♥♥♥

On our fifth year together

In a world like this, where many unpleasant things happening around plus having temptations here and there, it is considered a miracle when couples, married or not, reach their first anniversary, never mind their fifth.

We are indeed, very, very blessed.

Just last weekend, my husband and I spent our fifth wedding anniversary. Originally, our wedding anniversary date fell on a weekday and we thought it would be better for us to have it on the weekend. Few weeks prior to this, we had so many plans. Soooo many that we couldn’t choose what we really wanted the most. Of course, there were also many factors to be considered – one of which was the budget.

Since I was the one who stay in front of the computer most of the time, I was in-charge of looking for a good place. I got excited when I saw Zoobic Safari’s discounted fee in megadeals. I thought it was great to spend our ‘day’ there as it was something ‘new’. Then, I thought too, that it was a bit inconvenient for us to go there because we would commute with the kids (that was the original plan, to tag-along the kids). Then I opted to contact our friends who happen to work in hotels so we could ask for discounts. Still, it was no-good as we were a bit behind in making our reservation (and use their names to avail the 50% discount). A week before our anniversary, I found this Manila Bay Cruise. I inquired and almost had my reservation made but last minute, my husband backed out and had ‘Shunji Resort’ instead.

At first, I was not so eager to go there (again) because it has been our ‘home resort’ for the past year. We’ve had celebrations there before because the place was near our house and the rates were really affordable. I still went resort-searching on the internet the day before the ‘day’ but I was not successful in finding a good place. So, we ended up going to Shunji’s.

I had no regrets. There were no other guests during the weekend so it was like we rented the whole place. We just bought food outside, had some 10 bottles of Tanduay Ice (which, btw, was my first time to have a taste of it), sang our hearts out until 4am, swam in the not-so-cold water and woke up at 8:30 in the morning and went swimming again. We left the resort at noon.

It was really a great weekend. Too ordinary for some. But for us, it was one of the best weekends we’ve had. I’ve realized that it didn’t matter where and how you and loved one spent your special day.

What really matters is you being with the person you love. Me being with him. J

thank you for the flowers delivered in our office :)

swimming at 4am

tanduay ice - my new favorite :)

he had these shirts made for us :)

videoke again in the morning

dwarfina me

Day 2 - Romblon

Wow. It took me a month before I wrote again. I was really very busy these past few weeks (actually, I am still busy). The book thingy has been making me work my ass off. Arrrggggh!!!

Anyway, to get myself back to sanity, I would like to destress and continue the story of our Romblon getaway. Ha! Too late? Not yet. I thought I should write the memories down now before it would really be too late (to remember everything, that is). Okay...okay. so here it goes..

Day 2 was still activity-filled. After the long day ONE, my friends who were sober (because they didn't drink or should I say, escaped drinking -- you know who you are, guys!), woke up early. I was oblivious of the time as I took off my watch as soon as we stepped foot in Romblon (and I didn't use my cellphone much). Maybe, it was around 8am when I woke up. We had coffee by the beach, took pictures (again), and went boating. Oh well, I didn't, but most of them did. I regretted not doing so because I thought I missed a lot. They had great experiences seeing the mountains and peeping through the very clear waters of Calatrava. While, I, had my own share of me-time lying on the bed and thinking about the previous night's happenings. I laughed as I shared stories with Lea (who also did not go boating). We reminisced all the things that had happened the night before as if they happened ages ago. And oh, of course the highlight of the story was when we were all about to sleep and yet, Phay, my sometimes-normal-but-oftentimes-crazy friend, brought our spirits up by her renowned anticness (Oh well, that's Phay for you) and we all ended up laughing until we fell asleep.

Anyway, before noon, we decided to leave the island. The owner of the resort was kind enough to let us go island-hopping. But actually, we just stopped at one island which was really, really wonderful. We were awed by the beauty of it. It was called "Tinagong Dagat". Well, by name of it, you could already tell what it was. There was this part of the sea surrounded with rocks which made it look like it was hidden. Well before we saw it, we had to trek first. It was not easy as the rocks were really big and sharp. One mistake and you'd end up bruised or worse, ran to the hospital (which was, by the way, hours from where the island was). So there, we were so careful but at the same time, very excited. Then, we took pictures again. We didn't stay for a long time because that day was a total scorcher. We would have stayed longer had we remembered putting sunblock on.

Then, we rode the boat again back to Calatrava where the van was waiting for us. Since it was already past noon and we hadn't have lunch yet, Lern and Jon decided to take us to Mack's. We thought it was MAX's, so we were like, "Ah, talaga? May Max's dito?" Haha. Then we found out that it was a house-turned-restaurant. Nevertheless, the food was equally yummy (for starving stomachs).

I was having a superb time when my manager texted me. Didn't I say I didn't use my cellphone much at that time? Good thing, I glanced at it and saw text messages and missed calls. I was supposed to send an article for my VIP student. Whoa! I totally forgot it. Fortunately, we were in the town and internet shops were just around the corner. I rushed to the net cafe and sent the article right away. Whew. Thank God. My head nearly rolled. (--.--)

When we arrived at Villa Teresita (Lerni and Jon's house), we JUST changed our clothes (yes, that's right) because we were off to LOOC. From Odiongan, it took an hour of a car-ride.Since my aunt lived there, I took the chance to meet her. We talked for just a few minutes because we were about to go to SANCTUARY.

Sanctuary was where Looc's sea treasures could be found. It was in the middle part of the sea (shallow part) and a big nipa hut stood there.  When we reached Looc, we rode a motor boat to go there. Since it's a tourist site, a fee was required (Thanks Lern and Jon!). We were given life vests and snorkels. Again, we were so excited! When we arrived there, we put on our snorkels and swam our way. At first, I felt some pricking i-don't-know-what on my legs. I panicked because I thought they were jellyfish. Then my friends said they were just miniscule fish. I didn't believe them until I saw some. Haha. Oh well, they were really prickly! Jet, my risk-taker slash adventurer friend, swam a bit far from where the hut was and said it was wonderful out there. So we thought we should see it too. Indeed, on that part of the sea was where big corals, shells and colorful fishes lingered. It was really amazing. For a while, all of us where silent as we looked at these awesome God-made creatures. It was..really.. indescribable.

As it was already getting dark, we decided to get off the waters. We stayed in the hut for a while, drank some beer, ate fresh-off-the grill fish,  and talked and laughed about the things we saw under the water. After some minutes, we cleaned up after ourselves and went back to Lerni and Jon's place.

Just when we thought the night was over, we were wrong. Lern's mom prepared a lot of food for us. Honestly, my diet was devastated in this Romblon getaway. She cooked 'yellow adobo' and another dish (which I couldn't remember now, don't get me wrong here. Both were delicious. "Yellow adobo" just stayed in my mind coz it was unique). Anyway, after taking a bath and feeling fresh, we ate dinner and spent the night with JC (guys, you know who JC, right?). And of course, videoke (again)!

It was around 3am when we thought we should call it a day. We were all dead-tired but happy. It was really one-of-a-kind experience! :) 

 

At Sanctuary

phay :P

snorkeling at sanctuary

having a blast

treking at 'tinagong dagat'

we are survivors :P

tinagong dagat

dinner at Jon and Lern's house

the villa

Day 1 at Romblon

As a mom, I thought I needed a break too.

I haven't had any out-of-towns in years until April 16th 2011 came. My super friends and I planned a getaway in one of our friends' hometown -- Romblon.

It had been an overdue plan, actually. We had been think thinking of going there since were were all single but there was never a chance for that plan to push through. So when the perfect time came, we were all set and ready to go!

It was an 11-hour voyage. The ocean trip to Romblon was really a not-so-good experience. We arrived at the port at 1pm. We thought it was better to be there early since many people might be going home for the holyweek. We were right. There were so many people. We were just glad that our friend (the host), asked somebody to help us get the tickets. Still, we had the economy ones which meant we'd be in the crowded area with just hundreds of bunk beds. We didn't have any choice though. (--.--)

Montenegro Lines was not so organized. There were no spare beds for us as the spaces we were assigned to were already occupied. So we stayed at the ship's cafeteria (turned place-for-unlucky-people-like-us). We stayed there until one of our friends finally found some extra bunk beds. They found just 4 beds so we had to squeeze in ourselves to those. Good thing, we were just 8, so there were 2 people in one bed. :) Nevertheless, the unoccupied beds were just next to the restrooms. Well, that explained why those beds were empty. Nobody wanted to stay there. Then again, did we have any choice? None. The trip was for 11 agonizing hours so we had to rest our backs to prepare for the next day's activities. From time to time, we spritzed some cologne and alcohol just to get rid of the foul spell coming from the public toilet. Gawd!

We also spent most of time in the front deck of the ship. It was fantastic, and scary at the same time. The voyage was at night so we saw nothing but the vast sea. We found comfort and relief whenever we saw islands or lighthouses. Aside from that, there was nothing. Oh, but of course the dolphins were amazing.. and the stars.. and the moon...

We arrived at Odiongan at 4am. It was 2 hours later than our expected time of arrival. Well they said that the ship we were on was really slow. At the port, our friends (a couple) were there waiting for us. As we got off, Lerni (my friend) took pictures of us. Haha. We felt like celebrities. Tortured, smelly celebrities. :P

We went straight to their house which was just 10 minutes away from the port. The house was spectacular. It used to be a marble factory so it was really huge. They had 3 living rooms, and there was an indoor pool (which was still under renovation at that time). Though tired, we felt rejuvenated and took pictures at the different parts of the house. After resting, we went out to have breakfast at the town's tapsilogan and we visited Lerni's mom's house. :)

After breakfast, we went back to the house and rested for a couple of hours. I, for one, took some power nap because I knew that it would be a long day. Indeed, it was.

Lerni and Jon took us to this secluded resort 1 hour from Odiongan. We first took a motor boat for 20 minutes then voila! PAKSI RESORT COVE. Very virgin. Very beautiful. We took many photos as the place was really breathtaking. The resort was owned by a family and they have just started running the business so it was not yet fully-furnished. It didn't matter though, the surrounding was serene.

We then cooked food for lunch. We had sinigang and inihaw na pusit -- Just perfect for the getaway. In between cooking, we took pictures all over the place again. We had lunch at around 2pm, took some rest, changed to our swimming outfits and went out to swim. There was a low-tide in the afternoon so we waited until the water went back to the shore. Since I'm not crazy about swimming in the beach, two of my friends and I stayed on the shore and sang our hearts out with the videoke and started drinking too. ^^

At around 5pm, we decided to go swimming. My friend brought her snorkel with her so I borrowed it. I had a great time snorkeling and thought how wonderful it was to be a marine biologist. ^^

At night, we continued singing, dancing and drinking. We had dinner at maybe 8pm or so. We had smoked longanisa which was really superb! After dinner, we went back to singing and drinking. The night was really good. Since we were the only people in the resort, we partied like we didn't care. Until now, I don't know what time I went to bed that night. But one thing's for sure, I went to bed with a smile. :)

At the ship's cafeteria (slurpee was bought before we boarded, hehe)

at the back of the ship

"I'm flying!"

the boat ride to Paksi



before we rode the boat



paksi resort cove - fantastic

we're here!

mic whore

Singing makes me happy.

May it be in the shower or karaoke rooms, I sing my heart out. It's one of the activities that can relieve my stress and can make me feel so alive.

I'm not a good singer, though. I am just confident enough to take hold of the microphone and belt whatever song I want to sing.

My top karaoke favorites are:

1. Linger (Cranberries)
2. Everything I do, I do it for you (Bryan Adams)
3. Fame (Irene Cara)
4. Break Away (Kelly Clarkson)
5. Head Over Feet (Alanis Morissette)
6. Make It Real (The Jetts)
7. Dancing Queen (Abba)
8. Akap (Imago)
9. Torete (Moonstar 88)
10.Dreaming Of You (Selena)
11. I don't want to miss a thing (Aerosmith)

Haaay..it's been a while since I last sang (I mean, in a karaoke room, that is). Oh well, I think for now, I'm just going to sing in the bathroom. (--.--)

Trying to belt out "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" :P

"I guess I missed a thing." :P

Bjorn's heart was broken (again)

I love animals. I adore furry creatures. But I loved them more when I was a young girl.

I remembered bringing home some stray kittens. My grandmother, who took care of me back then, would often get angry but would end up adoring the pets I brought home. I also remembered crying whenever I saw some homeless cats and dogs, and yes, even chickens.

And if there was one thing I handed down to my son, it was my being animal lover.

Last Monday, 'Miming', Bjorn's pet kitten passed away. Please understand, 'Miming' was just maybe a couple of weeks old when Bjorn saw her on the street. My grandma tried to feed her but of course, she couldn't take solids yet. Then I remembered the kitten I adopted when I was young. We bought a feeding bottle for the kitten and patiently fed it. So, that's what we did too. I used one of Lexi's old bottles and tried to feed 'miming'. Still, the frail body of the poor kitten gave in.

Bjorn was broken-hearted. I was not surprised to see him cry because last year, he also cried over his dead bird. This time though, his cries were more painful. I know because I saw him, heard him and felt how upset he was. Even if it happened 2 days ago, he would still cry whenever he remembered 'miming'.

I tried to explain to him that 'miming' already gave in because her body was weak and she was too young to be separated from her mom. I even told him that when he was still a baby, he never wanted to be away from me. So did the kitten, with her mom.

I knew he understood but another lost of a pet was really difficult for him. Maybe he was thinking that he did not give his best to raise the pets. This, I told him, was not his fault. There were just some things that we couldn't hold onto. No matter how hard we try.

Bjorn, if ever you'd read this someday, I'd like you to know that mommy was hurt too. Hurt that your pets died, but more hurt to see you so sad, so broken. And just so you know, I am still very proud of you because you already have the sense of responsibility at that very young age. I love you.

"Miming" and "Woody" (the bird) will always be remembered. 

not my day

Today, I screwed up.

Errr. Wrong.

Since last week, I have been screwing up.
Last week, my boss reminded me of the daily reports that were missing. Actually, they were not missing. It was just that, I completely forgot to do them. Yeah, yeah, negligence.

Today, he, again, reminded me of undone reports on April 1st. I could have said, "Oh, it was April Fool's Day so the reports might have fooled you that they were there." Nah. That would have brought me somewhere.


I don't know what's happening these days. I mean, I am not that busy. There are tons of books to do but I'm not panicking about them. End of April is the due date, so what? Talk about PROCRASTINATION.

I guess I haven't changed yet when I thought I've had. When I was still a student, studying a night before the exam was more effective than studying a week before it. I know it was not a good habit. But I think I've carried it through the years.

Today, my boss gave me a piece of his mind. Like what Ivan (in a book I've read), the mind is a beautiful thing so giving a piece of it to someone is good. I have humbly accepted my boss' piece of mind. And promised that from now on, I would check my reports first before going home.

I just wish someone would remind me of doing so.

Err. Wrong again.

I wish I could remind myself of doing so. Forgetful me.

summer's here!

It's summer again! I always kid my students that in the Philippines, there are only two seasons -- HOT and HOTTER. They always laugh at the idea. But me? I was never happy with it.

Summer in the Philippines is excruciating. With a temperature of over 40, who would ever enjoy it? Luckily, our country is surrounded with lots of beaches by which the nearest is a 2-hour drive from Manila.

I'm not a beach person though. Well, I do enjoy going to the beach, eating bbq, seafood, and grilled stuff on a banana leaf. But getting my skin tanned and spending hours in the water are not just my favorites.

Maybe, one of the reasons why I don't enjoy it that much is that I'm scared of seawater. Not that I had a bad experience or something. I also do know how to swim, not a pro, but I know the basics. Nevertheless, I don't like seawater. I've read and I've seen from news how powerful water is. When you're trapped, there's no way out. And drowning is one of  the most dreadful ways to fight for one's life.

Awww. morbid.

Anyway, I'm thinking of greater ways to enjoy this season. Eat halo-halo? Sounds good. Go to Baguio? Better. Go abroad? Impossible. Oh, I think we'll end up swimming in a pool this summer.

Well anyway, it's just the beginning of the season. I can still do a lot of planning. :) Happy tag-init! :)

broken

You'll never know happiness until you know sadness...

Most sad people torture themselves more by listening to the saddest songs there could ever be. And when we hear a song we can very much relate to, we listen to it over and over again. It's funny how we sing along the song, relish the lines, cry at times, endure the pain it causes, and still, play it repeatedly.

I am guilty of doing these things. I'm a hopeless romantic. I try to show toughness on the outside but I'm vulnerable inside. Whenever I'm down, broke up with someone, depressed and stressed out, I like reading sadder stories, listening to heartbreaking songs and watching tearjerkers. But most of the time, I relate my situation to songs.

Let me share with you the songs I usually listen to when I'm broken:

1. Somewhere down the road.

"Somewhere down the road,
our roads are gonna cross again,
it doesn't really matter when."

2. My immortal - Evanescence
"These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase"
and
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along"

3. It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday - BoyzIIMen
"If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it's worth all the wait
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday"

4. I love you, Goodbye. - Celine Dion
"Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you.."

5. I'll be Over You - Toto
"There were the nights holding you close..
Someday I'll try to forget them
Someday I'll be over you..."

6. Better in Time - Leona Lewis
Thought I couldn’t live without you
"It’s gonna hurt when it heals too, oh yeah
(It’ll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
I’m gonna smile ’cause I deserve to
(It’ll all get better in time)"

7. Only Reminds Me of You
"I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
Only Reminds Me of you"

These are the songs I listen to all the time when I'm gloomy. I feel consoled whenever I hear these songs. Just like now...

A Proud Moment

Last Saturday was Bjorn's moving up day.

I was probably the most excited of all. Excited. Proudest. Bjorn's school classified the top students of each level in three categories -- WITH HONORS, WITH HIGH HONORS, and WITH HIGHEST HONORS.

Bjorn had been in WITH HONORS for three consecutive quarters. On his moving up day, he got a bronze medal for being one of the top students in nursery. He was also recognized for his VERBAL AND LINGUISTICS skills in which he got another award.

As working parents, we were so proud of what Bjorn had become. With my few hours in the mornings to teach him, and another few hours of my husband's time in the afternoon, Bjorn was able to pull through his first year of formal education.

When he was just barely 3 years old, I already introduced him to a classroom-style teaching. I bought him some flashcards, white board, educational charts, more books, pencils, crayons, eraser and some notebooks. I didn't know that he would be that interested in studying. There were even some days when he was the one reminding me to 'study'.

When he first stepped in his school, he was a bit hesitant. He didn't want to be left there. He would cry when he didn't see me. The first few weeks were difficult. After some months, whenever I saw him off to school, he would tell me to leave. At first I had a feeling of hurt. My son did not need me anymore. But I realized that he was already independent. He did not need mommy at those moments. He could survive at school. And then again, it made me proud of him.

Bjorn's as ordinary as other kids are. He loves playing, dancing, singing, running, watching cartoons, eating ice cream and pizza and having afternoon naps. What makes him special is that he always makes us proud. He always gives us something to smile about.

I would never forget how he walked on that platform -- with pride and elegance -- and how he showed his 'certificate' to all the people in that hall. I would never forget how I felt that time -- a feeling beyond happiness, indescribable -- that I nearly burst into tears.

I love you son. Mom always will. :)

bookworming

The sentence "I love reading" is an understatement for me.

Books are my favorite go-to-work buddy. Instead of ranting about traffic jams or drivers screaming at each other, I open a book and read on a jeepney or shuttle to work.

I have been reading the works of Cecelia Ahern and Agatha Christie for some years now. I don't know but I am already accustomed to the way they write that whenever I'm reading their book, I feel like I'm just listening to them. They are my favorite authors and I love them both!

The stories they wrote fall on two different genres. Cecelia Ahern's works were more of modern love-story-come-fantasy-fictionists. Agatha Christie, on the other hand, was known for her detective stories.

My favorite Cecelia Ahern book is IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW. (SPOILER ALERT!) It's somewhat magical in a sense that the protagonist (Elizabeth, a stiff woman who knows only three colors -- black, white and beige) fell in love with an invisible man, Ivan. While reading it, I also found myself falling for him. :P Cecelia Ahern made Ivan so lovable that everything he said was worth contemplating on. His character was so positive and his positivity was contagious.


Here's one of the things he said:

"You've come to give me a piece of your mind. You know that phrase is really beautiful. The mind is the most powerful thing in the body. Whatever the mind believes, the body can achieve. So to give someone a piece of it... well thank you. Funny how people are always intent on giving it to the people they dislike when it really should be for the ones they love."

That's what he always was -- someone who turns negativity to something good. And I love him. :)

It was a tearjerker (well, maybe for someone who cries over the shallowest things like I do). I cried buckets while reading it (and even after). Why? Just get a copy of it. No more spoiling here! >.<

As for Agatha Christie...Well, what can I say? She's a terrific writer. I love reading all her books. She never failed to amaze me (and maybe all her readers) in every book of hers that I read. One moment I thought I was a genious who knew who the culprit was...only to find out in the end that I was a fool who believed I was really a genious. :P That's what her books were all about -- stories which would keep you guessing till the very last leaf of the book.

My top favorites?

"And then there were none"
"Murder on the Orient Express"
"The Mysterious Affair at Styles"

I've read about 12 of her books and I know I have to read a lot more.

Awwww. I miss reading Agatha Christies. :( Right now, I'm reading a book by Cathy Kelly (who is an Irish writer, Oh, btw, Cecelia Ahern is Irish). I have just started so I couldn't make any feedback yet.

Thanks to my dearest friend who gave me lots of books as a birthday gift. Mwah! Mwah!

I guess I'll be writing more about books that I've read next time. :) Yay, am I starting to be a book critic too? :P

weekends

What's your ideal weekend?

As for me, weekends are special days. No matter how plain my weekend is, I still consider it special. Why? Because it's only during weekends that I get to spend more time with my family, especially with my kids.

When I'm at home, I see to it that I'm hands-on. I let our helper take her leave so I can take in charge of everything. I wash baby bottles, sterilize them, bathe my babies, put them to their afternoon sleep, cook for lunch, go shopping with the kids, stroll in the afternoon, watch TV with them at night, read them books, and sleep with them.

At the end of each weekend day, I feel listless. I really feel exhausted but happy. It's a different kind of tiredness. It's one that I'd like to do over and over again.

HAVE A HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYONE. :)

on heartbreaks

When you hit a neighbor's window glass and it breaks, you hear the crashing sound (and your neighbor's angry voice).
 
When a waiter accidentally loses control of the tray and all the chinaware and glasses fall on the floor, everybody in the restaurant notices.

When you wash the dishes and you unintentionally (and obliviously) drop one of them, it clashes and the sound surprises you and shocks your mother.

But when your heart breaks, no one else hears it. but you. only you. As much as the heart wants to scream all the pain out, it can't. You are the only person who hears its cry.. its call..its breaking sound. And that's what makes it painful.

What makes it more painful is the thought that everybody is trying to help you heal and hold all the pieces together, but it's you who resist. You don't want to. Not yet. Not now. Because you still want the pain to linger. Whatever your reasons are, no one knows it but you.

what make a person's heart break? 

One is, it may be caused by sympathy. When you see someone wounded, whether physically or emotionally, and you share compassion with this person, your heart breaks.  

Second reason is when someone you love dearly has to go. Wherever that person goes, it somehow hurts you because you will surely miss him/her. and it hurts more when you don't know whether this person is coming back or not.

Another may be caused by an end of something beautiful. Something important. Something you thought would never end. Something you never wanted to end. But had to.

I have had several heartbreaks before. Many, I should say. But I endured and surpassed them all. Not the easy way though. I heard my heart screamed, felt it kicked, but I couldn't do anything. I just learned that when your heart breaks, it's like picking up imaginary broken glasses. Too prickly, too painful. And when you're done picking them up, it's time to put the pieces back together. Hold for a while, and heal.

But it's been said, love like you've never been hurt. and may i add -- love like it the first time you laid your eyes upon your first crush in the first grade. :) No matter how many heartbreaks. No matter how painful the last one was, you should not force yourself to forget how to love. ♥♥♥


 

on being a kid

Today, one of my childhood friends tagged a photo of me. For a moment I thought I would see my face, beaming (and showing a victory sign), but heck, I saw pictures of round colorful objects with different characters on them. Then I realized why this friend of mine tagged me in this photo -- the round colorful objects, which were called POGS, were one of the things we used to play with when we were young.

It brought back memories. Lots of memories.

Like what I've said in my previous post, my memory got poorer but I think the things that were erased from my mind were the most recent ones. Yes, I have forgotten tons of good/bad things which happened in the past but seeing the tagged photo made me want to recall them, some, at least.

When I was young, I had a group of friends in our neighborhood. We were eight in the group. Most of us were same age, so we shared the same interest. The younger and the older ones were forced to share the same interest with us, though. :P

Summer vacation and Christmas vacation were the most fun seasons for us. Everyday, we met, played, fought (over the shallowest of things), laughed (at the shallowest of things too), sang, danced, played again, fought again... we'd only return home when we were being called to have lunch or dinner.

Aha! I have an idea. Why don't I list down the things we used to do and used to play with? Good?! That's so clever of me, huh? :P

Well, here they are:

1. POGS - If there was one reason why I was a plump kid back then was this. POGS could be collected from the nearest 'sari-sari' store (in our case, it was Aling Libay's), if and only if, you'd buy a bottle of COKE. The more bottles of coke, the more the more chances of winning (more pogs, that is). 

2. ROLLER BLADES - Chasing barefooted children is difficult, never mind chasing children with wheels. All of us, but one, had a pair of these. All but one. This friend of mine never learned how to use this pair of wheeled footwear, or any other thing which has ONLY TWO WHEELS for that matter. So what did she do while we rolled down the streets? She rode a bike with a 'side-car'. She trailed us while we happily and excitingly glided swiftly with our roller blades on. But she never minded. We were inspired by (not the Roller boys which starred by Patrick Garcia), MIGHTY DUCKS. For some time, we believed that we were them. We played socks hockey (more explanation after this item), and also had our 'roller blades lesson' which was led by the eldest in our group.

3. SOCKS HOCKEY - Since it never snowed in my country and since we were so eager to play the sport which our 'idols' played, we improvised a game of our own. One of our neighbor's houses had a big polished garage. Now you could imagine how we played hockey back then. We used a coconut shell as our puck and our very own feet as hockey sticks. More like soccer, huh? We didn't care, we still called it hockey. After the game, what we worried most about were our once-white socks which were soiled with red floor polish and the faces of our fumed moms.

4. Street games - Afternoons were never complete without us playing 'bulok', 'patintero', 'agawan-base' and 'langit-lupa'. Afternoons were never complete without one of us got pissed off and went home crying because of the game.

5. UNO STACK-O - When we're tired of roller-blading or playing in the street, we spent our 'relaxation time' with UNO-STACK-O. Well I didn't feel relaxed at that time, I was more of 'tensed' because whoever made the blocks tumble down, would get a punishment. Whatever the punishment was, I couldn't remember anymore.

6. CARD GAMES - I love gambling. not. Haha. At that time, we just played Lucky 9 or Pares-pares, One-two-three-pass, and tong-its. No money inloved. just pure fun and gags.

7. Ten-twenty. Chinese garter. And even limbo-rock. We played these with this thin, stretchable material which I believe people my age played too when they were young. These games required too much jumping. and too much calorie-burning. :P

8. SPORTS - Who would've thought I enjoyed sports when I was young. Well, yeah, I did. Every summer break, we woke up as early as 5 or 6 in the morning to jog and to play basketball. Compared to my immobility right now, I was really an active and athletic kid back then.

I experienced all the normal activities every child had to do. I must say, I enjoyed my childhood very much. I was an only child but that did not hinder me from being a happy kid. I was surrounded with happy-go-lucky friends who turned out to be responsible adults now. and of course, thanks to our cool parents  who let us do our thing with their guidance.
When I thought about yesteryears, I knew deep in my heart that I did not regret anything. I knew that I had that time of my life when I got to know myself and my friends and realized that we savored making memories together. Though some went and some stayed, I definitely believed that when you got to sit with any of them, they would tell you the same stories just like I did in here.

Us, dancing "Oh, Carol!" Oops, I was not in the picture. Maybe It was me who took the shot? Lols!

It's not my first time to write a blog. I used to do this back then but I lost my then-blog. Oh well, I didn't lose it. I forgot my ID and password. Pffft. Yes, I am forgetful.

In fact, I'm writing because this serves as my diary. I write when I'm happy. I write when I'm sad. I write when I feel crazy. I write when I'm in love.  I write when I feel alone. I write when I think I should. I write when something needs to be written down.. needs to be remembered.

I have to admit, my memory got weaker after I gave birth to my first child. And it became even weaker after the birth of my second.

I'm glad digicams came very handy. With them, people can capture special moments. Yes, sometimes pictures say all. Sometimes.

As for me, pictures remind us of the good memories. Writings remind us of how we feel during those captured good memories.

I always admire people who can creatively express their thoughts on writings. I enjoy reading stories, good or bad, happy or sad. I am  delighted to come across funny but worthwhile reads.

These things inspire me to write, to be more expressive, to not hesitate, to think that I can be an author too.

Author of an e-book about my life. :)